I had something of a revelation today.  I really want to share it with you but forgive me if I go in circles a bit…I think I’m still processing it myself.  And I don’t even know where to begin.  Um, okay…how about here.

am overweight.  

I love sweets – candy, desserts, chocolate…oh chocolate. 

This has been my thorn for as long as I can remember

Most recently, I have been participating in an online study called Made to Crave via my friend Mary Kathryn’s blog.  It’s an incredible book and has most assuredly begun a process of reprogramming my thinking about weight loss, cravings, and Jesus.  Something else you should know to really understand my revelation is that beginning January 1, I cut out all desserts, all sodas, all junk.  I knew I had a problem in those areas and felt God leading me to remove those things from my diet for a period of time in order to conquer my addiction once and for all.  It was a fast of sorts and was to run 21 days…today being the last day.  God was clear that the intention wasn’t for me to lose weight…it was break a cycle in my life that had utter control over me.  But I would be lying if I said that in the back of my mind I had not hoped that a side effect would be the shedding of a few pounds.  Also, upon starting Made to Crave, I had chosen a particular plan to begin getting my eating habits in order and had started that plan this week. 

I had to attend a funeral visitation a couple of nights ago.  Thus began the horrible fits of frustration and tantrums – hangers and clothes flying all over the closet – as I tried to find something to wear…which ended up being a pair of elastic waist dress pants and a sweater.  Not my best look by far.  The next day, I emailed a few friends who are walking through this journey with me, one of which being Mary Kathryn, and I confessed my frustrations with a very heavy heart (no pun intended).  MK responded with such sweet encouraging words and also reminded my that when Jesus was fasting those 40 days that His temptation and discouragement came at the end of that fast…which is about where I was with mine.  Something else I also recalled was that after His temptation was over, the angels came and ministered to Him, which I can say truly happened to me as well.  (Mary Kathryn and another dear friend, Gabby, were my angels today and I am so grateful.)

Alright so that’s all the background…now onto the rest.  I was listening to a song this morning.  I posted the lyrics and the link earlier today but here they are again…Sycamore by Songs of Water

Hero of my scars
he rode beneath a blanket of stars
charging as if night had no face
he whispers softly into my soul space

ripped open my heart
as a butterfly goes free from the jar
out into an edible distance
we ride like there is no too far

climb high
he’s passing by
come stay
come stay with me tonight

I started thinking about the story of Zaccheus.  Remember him?  He went up a sycamore tree to get a better view of Jesus as He was walking down the road (Luke 19:1-10).  As I began praying, it sort of hit me.  Zaccheus had to climb up the tree to see Jesus…he wasn’t tall enough to see Him over the crowd.  And once Jesus came to the tree, He called to Zaccheus to come down and went WITH him to Zaccheus’ house, but not before Zaccheus announced to the grumblers around him that he was giving half of everything he had to the poor and would reconcile four fold with anyone he had wronged.  It took Zaccheus removing himself from his surroundings for a time to gain focus on the Christ and when he was returned to those surroundings, it was with Christ right by his side.  It was only then that the hold that money had over him was broken and he was set free.  Yes.

Oh Father God.  Sweet sweet Lord.  You sent me up the tree so that my focus could be fixed on You alone.  And today, as I have begun to slide back down the trunk of that tree, You are there waiting at the bottom, Your strong arm is there to set me firmly on my feet.  Your strength surrounds me as I know with all my heart now that You are here.    And it is by Your grace and by Your love that this stronghold. is. broken.  Amen….so be it.

7 thoughts on “Sycamore trees and chocolate

  1. Aubrey says:

    you’re amazing, you know that? I love you to pieces!! You make my heart smile and I’m so glad I get to know you and be blessed by your thoughts and revelations! love you!

    1. Aubrey ~ sweet friend, thank you! You bless me right back! Love you too!

  2. here’s why this post is my favorite (and not because you called me your angel, ahem): because it’s the most honest, authentic, raw and transparent one of yours i’ve read.

    i’m so proud of you and so excited to be a part of god’s adventure in your life.

    thank you for sharing yourself, right where you are.

    love you.


    1. This one was actually harder to write than I thought it would be…trying to put all that into words was kinda, well…scary. So glad to be walking with YOU ~ you mean so much to me. Love you…

  3. lisasmith says:

    Ummmm, nice to “meet” you. Please don’t think I’m weird because I’m crying all over our first meeting.

    Praying God’s strength will infuse your weakness and the victory will last a lifetime. His mercies are new every morning.


    1. Lisa~ so nice to “meet” you too friend. Thank you so much for you sweet encouragement. Every day is a new battle fought but victory is there…it’s just a matter of walking in it. And having a covering of dear sisters and brothers in Christ is such a blessing. Thanks so much for stopping by…

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