Monday, Monday

It’s been a hard few days.  My shoulders feel a bit heavy with the weight of being a grown up.  In fact, I had in my mind to write about all that, but I decided not to depress the hell out of us all on this Monday morning.

So on another note, I visited my friend’s church again this weekend to see her little ones get baptized.  (I got the day right this time.  Ha!)  And what a pleasure it was.  They were both darling, as always, and it was a privilege to be a witness to such a special moment.

And in true kid fashion, her son was not nearly as interested in what was going on as he was in whatever it was that caught his eye on the floor.  He was sitting on the floor at his mom and dad’s feet, picking at a place in the carpet. I couldn’t help but smile at how relaxed he seemed. At one point he rolled over and was laying on his back spread eagle.  He was just so comfortable rolling around and investigating the things around him.

I kept thinking, what a picture of Jesus and how He prepares the way for us to life, doing for us what we can’t do for ourselves.  The pastor was thinking along the same line too because he mentioned how much like this grace was.  How it covers us when we don’t even know we need it…and how sometimes its awesomeness knocks us out on the floor.

That sweet boy didn’t know a whole lot about the situation yet, but there his mommy and daddy were, making a covenant with God on behalf of him and his sister, to raise them in a way that would demonstrate the gospel to them.  And one day, when they are older, they will take ownership of that covenant for themselves. He might not have completely understood what was happening, but he was there with Mom and Dad, and he was enjoying the moment.

It made me think about how many times I find myself freaking out about what’s going on around me instead of just enjoying where God has me. How often I’m impatiently wandering off on my own instead of just sitting happily at my Father’s feet, waiting for His direction. Sometimes it’s like I’ve forgotten how to rest in Him…how to trust in Him.

But God never forgets to be God.

The loving hands of our Father are always leading us and providing for us before we even know what we need.  The sacrifice of our Savior did for us what we couldn’t do for ourselves. The gentle wooing of our Holy Spirit is always drawing our hearts, pointing us towards Christ.

We can be at peace at our Father’s feet knowing that He is always working in our favor. And we can be joyful in knowing that He is always doing the good thing, the life-giving thing.

And so for today, when being an adult is hard, I’m going to just lay in the floor and look up at my Father and trust in His love for me.

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safe

I’ve been finding myself drawn lately to simplicity in the Lord.  Trying to just get back to the foundation of it all and start over.  I’ve felt God trying to dislodge some things I’ve allowed to attach themselves to my faith, to my belief about Him.

And He’s trying to show me that He is enough.

And that I…am not.

But not in a negative way.  He’s just been reminding me how much I need Him.  And that’s not a bad thing because in all this, I’ve begun to realize that there’s distrust in my heart for my God.

Let me explain.  It’s not that I don’t love God or believe in Him.  I do.  But if I can somehow make this make sense, it’s like there are parts about Him that I’m realizing that I don’t know that well.  And because of that, I’ve allowed doubts to enter my heart about His intentions.

I say I trust God, but He’s beginning to show me that I don’t as much as I thought I did.  And although He’s flooding light in the places of doubt, He’s also in the process reminding me of His desires to really give me every good thing.  In the first chapter of John, He gave a sweet reminder this week.

Through him all things were made;

without him nothing was made that has been made.

John 1:3

All things created, were created by Him.  There is nothing that was made that wasn’t made through Him.

All things passed through His hand.

And all things still pass through His hand.  Nothing I face has not already been filtered through Him.  Nothing gets close to me that doesn’t serve a kingdom purpose.  Nothing I come up against does not in some way have an end intention of glorifying the Father.

And you know what that means?  It means I’m safe.

Even when it’s all ugly and messed up and I can’t see any good purpose in whatever I’m going through, I’m safe.

I’m safe because I’m His.