Okay. I have a confession to make. I guess this is actually a late evening of day 6 confession, but this is the first chance I’ve had to sit down and share, so anyhow. Here is it.
Well, okay wait. First let me tell you this. In this first week of the Daniel Fast, I’ve struggled more in the past couple of days than I did the first five or six. Why? Well, I think it’s because of a realization that I had on that evening of day six that’s changed it all a little. In all that I’ve had to give up eating for this time of fasting, the hardest part has been the sweets. I’m not a big meat eater, so that part hasn’t been tough. Doing without bread has been somewhat frustrating, but I’ve been able to substitute whole wheat tortillas for “sandwiches” so that’s kinda worked out. The dairy has been kinda hard…I do love my yogurt and cheese, but still it’s been manageable to some degree. No sir, buddy. It’s been the sweets that have just about done me in.
And so for the first six days (especially those first couple), I had my mind set on finding some way to make something sweet and dessert-y that would still fit within the Daniel guidelines. I made oatmeal cookies – and I use that word “cookie” very loosely because they were nothing like real oatmeal cookies. I also tried a different recipe that had bananas in it, but it was worse than the first batch. They tasted like soggy cardboard with banana flavoring. Not at all like a cookie. I did make these things called Almond Butter Bites, and although they are actually pretty good, they still weren’t quite the sweet I was looking for.
And then finally on the sixth night I hit the jackpot. Banana peanut butter ice cream…sort of. Frozen bananas in the food processor with a little peanut butter and bam! Totally hit the spot. Or at least it did.
Right up until the second that I felt suddenly convicted with that last bite of pseudo-ice cream. Convicted because I hadn’t really given up sweets, I’d just been searching for a poor substitute until I could get back to the real thing.
And so here’s my confession:
Even in the midst of the fasting from the thing, I was still trying to replace it with the same somewhat-less-tastier thing. I wasn’t really giving it up at all. I was just subbing something else in its place.
And totally missing the point…and probably the blessing…because one of my prayers for this time of fasting was for God to break my addiction to sweets. But I wasn’t really doing my part. I hadn’t REALLY sacrificed the sweets to God.
And I realized that as good as that frozen banana peanut butter combo was, it wasn’t worth allowing myself to do this half-heartedly. I had to either give it to Him or not, but I couldn’t fake my way through it. Because He knew. And I knew.
So, I started today with a fresh perspective and now that I’ve made my confession, a clean slate. Whew.
Lord, I am so grateful for your mercies that are new everyday. Thank you for your convictions that keep me from slipping off the path. Renew my faith, break my chains, and create a clean heart in me. I submit myself again to you, Jesus. You are God and You are good.
Taste and see that the LORD is good.
Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!