An easy habit to break, but hard habit to make

Golly.  Who’d have thought it would be this hard to keep up with something that I love to do so much.  I’m back from yet another blogging hiatus…at least for today.

And I have a confession.

I need this blog.

I need to know that there’s a possibility that someone is reading this.  That someone has noticed that I haven’t written anything in a while.  That the latest gap between posts has not gone unnoticed.

Not because I want to be famous.  Not because I think that anything I have to say is so all-important that is has to get out there.

Really it’s less for you, although I am beyond honored that you’ve taken the time out of your schedule to read this.  I can’t thank you enough.

But, honestly, it’s more for me than anybody.  Somehow this blog is an accountability for me.  I read, I study, I spend time with the Father and I can’t help but share what has been brought forth in that time.  And then I’m excited to go back and be with Him and then have more to share.  It’s like going to a well and bringing back a bucket of water and then pouring out over me and you and then going back to the well for another bucket over and over.  Like I think I’ve said in a previous post, if you’re constantly refilling, you can be constantly pouring out.  But if you aren’t refilling, then there’s really nothing to pour.

So I guess I really have two confessions.

First, that I need to blog because I need the accountability.

And second, I haven’t been doing a very good job of the refilling part here lately.  In fact, if I’m honest, other than the studying I do to prepare for Bible study each week, I haven’t really had much other time with God.

(Unless you count those mumbled prayers for help here and there.)

And I know there’s an ebb and flow to all relationships…even the one I have with Jesus.  Sometimes I feel closer to Him and other times I feel like I’m sort of in the desert and He’s just quiet.  I know He’s still there and I know He loves me and I know I love Him…those things I never call into question.  It’s just that I guess in my life as a mom of two boys, the wife of a police officer, a work at home transcriptionist, a Pinterest addict, a Bible study leader, a Friday morning prayer warrior, a yo-yo dieter, and a bunch of other things, all that somehow gets put before the one thing that I am more than any of those things…a daughter of the Maker of the Universe.

So, having said all that, I would love so much if you’d pray for me.  Please pray for me to be desperate for time with the Lord.  For my heart to burn with a passion for His presence that will not be quenched.  I’d be so grateful if you did.

~J

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2 thoughts on “An easy habit to break, but hard habit to make

  1. Oh oh me! Pick me!! I totally noticed you hadn’t written in awhile! In fact I almost asked you about it the last time I saw you but got distracted with our homemade hair products conversation… Which I’m so psyched about, btw….Anyways… Yes! I missed it! And i totally get the whoke accountibility thing… I need a blog… And I’ll make a deal with you: I’ll pray for you, to be desperate for Him and burn with a passion for time in His presence, if you will do the same for me! Mmmk? Ok… I LOVE YOU!!!

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