Flesh, Spirit, and beginnings

Do you ever come to a place where you find it hard to read the Word of God?  I mean for the most part, usually I can’t get enough.  I love digging into His word and finding all sorts of precious treasures there.  But for the life of me, I can’t seem to focus lately, especially the last couple of weeks.  I think I have started two or three different attempts during this time to begin a study through a particular book of the Bible, only to get sidetracked a couple of chapters in.  What in the world is going on here?

I was sitting at my kitchen table drinking iced tea and adding a few things to my One Thousand Gifts list (for more about that, check out Ann’s blog site – A Holy Experience) and just outta nowhere, it hit me.  I knew right away why I was having trouble getting into the Word….two reasons in fact.   First,

Because my flesh doesn’t like the way it feels.

God’s word calls us to be more, go deeper, stretch ourselves.  God’s word will not allow us to remain complacent in a world where lost people are wandering without.  God’s word will not stand for us continuing to roll around in our sin beds.

God’s word calls me away from everything my flesh desires.

And that causes an ache…an unfulfilled want.

This flesh that leads me astray, this part of me that follows my flippant and constant changing emotions, this side of me that wanders in the dark.  The last thing this flesh wants is for me to be led by the spirit, the place where I am bound for all eternity with the One True God.

But there was one other thing that was jamming me up, the other reason…this one I heard God whisper to my soul…aligned.

You’re trying to mold yourself into the shape of something

 that you’ve determined to be My desires for you.

And as much as I love that you are in love with My Word,

you’re digging in places I haven’t led you to yet, child.

We’re going back to the beginning ~ Me and you.

And all of a sudden the pieces start to fall into place so quickly that I can almost physically feel a whoosh of wind.  It all starts to make sense now.  I see over the last several months of my life the stepping stones ~ so many things that happened that I noticed without noticing~ a preparation of my heart for this thing, this plan of my glorious God to bring me back to the beginning.  Back to my First Love. 

I have no idea what to expect next…and honestly, I’m pretty excited about that.


2 thoughts on “Flesh, Spirit, and beginnings

  1. I’ve had this happen once or twice myself, where I feel like such a monumental failure for not being able to inject myself fully into God, and then, like a plane plowing into the side of a building, God whispers “I’m doing this for a reason. Turn back to Me and you won’t be failing.” I think it’s a good sign, because you’re ‘realigning’ yourself, and perpetually doing that is what Christians are supposed to be doing in the first place–checking to make sure they aren’t a few degrees off course.

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