I realized after reading over it again that I forgot to mention in my last blog which book I was reading. Oops. I just picked up a copy of “Do You Know Who I Am?” by Angela Thomas. Only a couple of chapters into it, but good stuff so far!
It was actually the title that caught my attention. I was totally looking for another book because I will be participating in an online study that my friend Mary Kathyrn will be hosting via her blog, Beauty for Ashes, and there on the shelf in big bold letters is this book entitled do you know who i am? And see this meant something to me because I had just the night before uttered those same exact words in a conversation with my friend Ronda.
I was kinda having one of those seriously God?? moments. I have those a lot. I just can’t fathom why on earth He loves me. It’s like, Lord do you know who you’re talking to here? Do you know I’m completely a mess? Do you know that I am scared to death sometimes? Do you know that I am absolutely clueless most of the time? Do you know that I am lazy? Do you know that I eat too much and am overweight? Do you know that I have inappropriate thoughts? Do you know that I cuss sometimes? Do you know that I am a procrastinater? Do you know that I am selfish sometimes…a lot? I mean, really God. Do you know who I am???
In her book, Angela had a same moment…and in her moment, after she listed off all these do you know who I am questions she says this:
God spoke in my spirit with a question for me.
“Angela, do you know who I AM?”
Whoa. Do you know who I AM? Those words just jumped off the page. And I had to stop and ask myself, Jenny DO YOU know who God is? Well, yes. Of course I do. He’s the Ancient of Days, Creator, Healer, Mighty Warrior, Strong Tower, Shelter, Protector (just to name a few). He is El Roi – The God Who Sees Me. Well, then if He’s the God Who Sees Me, then doesn’t He see all that less-than-desireable stuff about me?
Sure He does. And…He loves me still.
And He loves you still.
I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9 where the Lord tells Paul:
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Well y’all ought to know by now that I love words studies, so in this verse I looked up the word “weakness.” This word in Hebrew is transliterated astheneia which means “want of strength, weakness or infirmity of the body or of the soul.” Want of strength. In other words, God’s strength is best used where there is a desire for His strength. Where there is a recognition of the lack thereof. If we think we have all the answers, then we aren’t looking to God for anything. BUT if we recognize our need for Him, we seek Him for the help we need in the places where we are weak (which really is pretty much everywhere), then His power will fill those gaps. Paul’s words seem to have new meaning somehow…
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
For my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
So that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults,
In hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I AM strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (emphasis mine)